30/11/2009
00.00am..
wow...today is my birthday le...
never had a special brithday like this le...haha
i din get anty present...sob sob..
no celebration...sob sob...still need to sit for my bio test paper...
haha but nvm...at least learned something meaningfull..
haha...at least...there's about 50ppl still remember my birthday..n wish me happy birthday le...
haha quite touch d...i tot they forget me adi le..
thank you thank you...thanks
really touch le...although no present n celebration...but with your wish...it's enough to me...haha
thanks ^ ^

me..n my relative...

hmm...me,2 sis n my dad...

my 1st birthday cake when i'm born till now

29/11/2009
01.00am...
huh juz now celebrate my bday with family n relative le...
but...my mum n bro is not around le...
bro at KL n mum at turky...
so...juz wif my dad,sis,little sis n the other 5 cousin...
today,i juz had my 1st birthday cake from i'm born...till now..
1st time had birthday song n cakes...hmm...thanks...
here's some photo to share...

28/11/2009
01.00am...
huh bday going reach d...it's end of the month...
haiz but that day i'm sitting for my bio paper le...
n today is my fren...ah keong d bday...
hmm...happy bday to him ba...
it's going to be my 17th years old bday le...
there's no bday cake for me at the previous 16 years le...
hmm...n yesterday my frens...juz got a road bike accident le...
wish him get well soon...

23/11/2009
10.00pm..
huh 3rd day of SPM...
today just sat for math paper 1&2 le...
paper 1 objective...i get 37 correct le...
so happy...i think my math could get A+ ba..
tmr will sitting for moral le...
2h n 30 mins...
hmmm n alwin get 38 correct le...
he said thanks to me...cause i always teach him math in class...
hmm gonna continue memorize my moral le...
GAMBATEH~~~

20/11/2009
1.10am...
huh finally the 2nd day of SPM is over..
i adi get used to it...not so stress le...
24papers...6 papers is down...
18more to go...i think my eng may get A ba
n BM could credit...but my sejarah worst...
i think fail le ba...hahaha nvm..
the following subject...math,moral,add math..
i aiming A le...gambateh ZAX~~~
good luck to those who sitting for SPM...
GAMBATEH!

too much picture le...cant upload all here
but will post at facebook

haha my fren...after prom night going coffee island

on the way

before going out...hehex

2/11/2009
5.35pm...
yesterday so hapi le...
yesterday is our prom night...then after prom night
me n my frens go out xiao le...
1st we go coffee island..then we plan to go faces.
but its close...then we change to green house...same its close again...
finally we go to greenlane McD...till 2 pm...
after that we go choong lim house drink...
untill morning 7am oni back home le...
suddenly got a feeling that this school is nice miss teh is nice...
feel dunwanna graduate le...
gonna leave all my frens le...
hope all of us can keep intouch la...
here r some photo to share wif

30/10/2009
9.45pm...
haiz today is my last day in secondary school le...
coz i gonna leave this school le...good bye...
today i hav got a type of feeling...
feel lik dunwan graduate le...now oni realise...
secondary school time quite nice le...
haiz...so fast 5 years of secondary school life is pass...its time to say goodbye
which all my secondary frens good luck n all the best in future...


tmr will be my graduation day le...
but i'm not going...y???coz of my hair ba...
i dun wan cut my hair le...haiz...
school wan us to attend graduation day wif no.3 haircut...
haiz...but the next day is prom night le...
wat if i cut number 3 wif formal wears???
so i decided not to attend graduation day ba...
sick of it...

28/10/2009
10.40pm...
haiz juz cut my hair at APT le...
abo gradutaion that day gonna sit at canteen le...
haiz...dunno my hair can pass or not le...adi make it shorter d le worh.
i dunwan sit at canteen lo...
haiz...y gonna graduate le... they still wanna like that le???
cant they giv us a nice impresion to them??
asshole...

26/10/2009
9.50pm...
huh yesterday overnight at balai bomba untill juz now 6 pm oni back home le..
damn tired...yesterday night oni sleep for 1 hour le...
quite tired le...gonna sleep le... good night everybody

hmm this present juz now buy d...
is for c garl d...hmm okla gtg nitezz

24/10/2009
11.40pm
huh juz back home from queensbay le..
hmm so tired...n later 12pm going out again le...
going balai bomba to stand by ambulance le...
hmm today that's all la..

23/10/2009
6.40pm...
hmm...today at school so fun le...
keep laugh n play nia...lik SPM over d...hahahaha
but i oso see tiok some ppl d"zhen mian mu"
they outside look so nice to u...but inside doesn't lik wat u think...
they step u to show that they r high...most hate this type of ppl le...
i wan make everything be FAIR...for those who did this to my friend...
i will wait for a suitable time to revenge for my friend...
maybe to others will feel me do too much or wat..
i dun care...i feel it's rite..i will juz do it d...

22/10/2009
6.30pm
huh today at school so high le...
but after school...its stress again le..
damn it...sienz...no mood to study le...
but i adi tried my best le...haiz...
damn it...sienzzzzz...
later going to bomba training again le...
haiz...

21/10/2009
9.15pm
huh...today juz get the SPM exam timetable...
damn...the 1st n 2nd day will be tough...
1st day from 8.00am untill 4.30pm..
2nd day oso the same le...but after this 2 days will be a bit relax le..
but unfortuenatlly 11 november...my birthday will be sitiing for bio le..
but after 30 november there will be 2 days rest..
8 december is 2nd last paper le...
after that is 14 december le...
so hope my frens can celebrate my birthday with me at 9 december le..
hope there will be some surprise to me...
it will be my 17years old birthday...
i never have a birthday cake b4 le...
no one has bought me a birthday cake b4...
hope that day will giv me a different feeling...
so hope they all will celebrate...with me..
today damn down...dunno izit becoz of her???
hope there's someone who understand me can always besdie me...
i'm always be a caring fren to them...but when i need helps...
who can borrow me their hand???none...i had always be the 1st to help them..
but after that...that have forgotten me...
some times feel that it's not worth for me to be a kind person...
not worth for me to helps anyone...
i wan to be bad...but wat's the ending of a bad guy???
boycott by the person whos around???
huh...y can't be fair to everybody???
i always tot i put them at 1st...
they will did the same thing to me too...
but at last...i'm not...i'm juz a shit to them...
i always tot this world is fair...
i do nice to them...they will do it to me too...
but it's not lik that d...they will juz forget everything i did to them...
i'm fren to them when they nid help...izit??
fine...tired..

20/10/2009
9.00pm
haiz count down to SPM oni left 29 days le...
but i haven start study yet...
i gonna aim 6 A's in my SPM
i gonna study hard!!!
although ppl look down on me...
they says if i this shit can get 6A's they can get 16A's d..
but nvm its ok...i will not juz let them look down on me...
i will prove that i can do it...
i will study hard!!!i must get wat i looking for...
i aim for Math,Add.Math,1119,English,Moral,Bio
those teachers put a lot of affort to me...
i must work hard too...i must!!!

huh this python long about 14feet le..
catch by bomba sukarela bukit bendera air itam

18/10/2009
10.00pm
huh today so busy le...now only reach home...
juz now at balai bomba stand by...
huh today so mani ambulance d case le..
feel so hungry now....ggggrrrrrr...
huh...n something quite happy d...
yesterday nite i n my fren go watch 18PL d movie le...
i can entre le...i hav the look of 18 years old d...hahahahax
so dun call me ah boy liau....i grew up d...hahaha

i get 5 d...hehex

18/10/2009
3.30 am..
huh adi midnite d oni back home...
huh juz now when Mcd wif fren le... to collect the contour glass...hehex
abit tired le...good nite

17/10/2009
3.30 am...
haiz...hope my dad get well soon

17/10/2009
3.43pm
haiz so fan le...
later 5pm going badminton wif bomba d fren le...
then 8.15 is pso concert...i wan go..but nobody wanna fetch me..
n juz now fren call me tonite go watch movie le...rebillion..
haiz...i shuold go where???pso or movie???
i adi hav pso concert since a few days b4 dad had bought it but he sick le...
so i hav given one to melody and another ticket dunno wanna giv it to who le...
sob sob rm40 fly away...haiz sometime feel i so wasting my dad d $$
but nvm la...at least it is not wasted...haha

16/10/2009
2.45pm
huh...so long din use blogspot le...
haiz...today damn moody le...
dunno y...izit becoz of her???or???
huh...nobody noe...haiz....
hope that someone can teman me sms or chat le...
haiz haiz...SPM coming le...but i haven study finish le...
haiz...still a bit sick le...
maybe yesterday too late sleep ba...
haiz...althought feel sleepy buy i not feel to sleep le..
duno y...huh later still need go stand by ambulance le...
bless god dun rain le...

ssiieeennnzzzzzzzz....

2/8/2009
2.20pm
trust...

2/8/2009
2.00am
haiz...feel so lonely...
insomnia...pressure...

10/7/2009
7.10pm
haiz...izit i did wrong once there's no 2nd chance d???
y this world is so cruel d???
life meaningless..

28/6/2009
5.45pm
haiz sunday...sienz...
i wan see da transformer 2 le...
my fren say today teman me go watch eh...
but they put me aeroplane...wat the tut!!!!!
whole day at home...so sienz...
ku no one teman me sms...
comp ku rosak cant play game...huh wan becum fossil d...
haiz...haiz...who can teman me sms or go watch transformer 2 le????

26/6/2009
00:00
huh juz came back from bomba training...
damn tired d...good night..

25/6/2009
5.10pm
huh today damn tired d...
hmm quite hapi that she din scare of me le...hmm gud gud
lik that be fren reli hapi...
haiz...today dad bday le...but he working at ipoh...
cant celebrate wif him...
hmm got one thing quite hapi d...
i still hav one gang of fren which veli gud d...
hmm quite hapi about that d la...haha

21/6/2009
3pm...
haiz today din go schl...sick le...
haiz haiz...at home damn sienz...
fever summore...huh
wan find ppl to teman me sms...
but they ku din reply...haiz
sienz sienz...
hmm today ntg special happen la..

Bad Luck...

16/6/2009
6.45pm...
haiz...today veli down...
i adi tried veli hard d...but my result...
haiz haiz...why lik that d???izit i din work hard enuf???
hmm...nvm la...next exam i will make a big different...no ones can look down on me...
hmm...izit they still luv each other d???this adi nt important to me le...
i feel that we keep our relation as a best fren is veli gud adi...
i still can hav one more gud fren to share xin shi...
hmm...n sure...hope they two can hmm...together back la...



haiz...duno y...my heart veli pain le...sumtimes pain till cnt slp..
izit cause by smoking???bt i adi changed d le...
i din smoke veli long ago d...haiz y lik that d???
haiz..

15/6/2009
8.05pm
haiz today morning accident again le...
leg injured...n my laopo injured too...so sad...
haiz nt so hapi about my exam d result...
i hav studied hard...but juz a little improvment...
izit i din work hard enuf???or maybe i study hard but not smart???
hmm gonna find out da solution le...
hmm hope there's no fail in trail exam...

14/6/2009
haiz...today i feel myself so bad...
punteh everybody go out hapi hapi eh...
but i knew sumthing...haiz then make till everybody pun nt hapi ki...
sorry chan khye,may,xin yi,jia yi,nita...
sorry le...make till ur pun not hapi...
but finally i think open d...
i face the truth d...she n him...hmm...should be pair d...
but...hmm...nvm la...i di it le...hmm
n today i juz noe tsu huey regret about that time kik me from sl
but i wan tell her...she hav did it well...
that time i reli so stupid...dun noe think...
hmm...n do so much bad thing...
sorry tsu huey,sk,vh,hk...
hmm n i din hate ur very long d...juz ur dunnoe le...
n what i hav did to band although ur cannot see...
but nvm la...haha i hav teached jean the way to play her solo part
so that the concert is so succesful...n those skill can giv to them..
hmm...hope they can play better than me la...good luck~

13/6/2009
midnight 4 o'clock
haiz...today is my laz day at band d..
we having a concert at school hall...
quite succesful d...n my solo...hmm most ppl oso giv me good d comment
but i dunoe is real or not...coz i feel myself can do more than that...
hmm...so sad...i wan the band...ONE BAND ONE DREAM...
those hapi times...sad...or watever i had taste at band...
the band grow me up...inside band...i learns thing from what i have did...
i have did something veli bad...hmm...but finally i learn a lesson from that...
hmm...i found that...i'm not always the failure...
at least tonight i hav did it...plays solo in front of my frens...my family..
whole school...in front of 800++ppl...hmm...
quite surprise about that...i have did it which i hav never done b4...
thanks this band...thanks everybody...miss ur so much...
hmm...so miss ur...cnt sleep...insomnia...hmm...
i hav shows another part of me...to my family...
i'm not always lose my bro...really love this band...
hmm...juz now quite touch d...everybody crying...
but i don't...coz i noe...i hav grown up...even tears gonna drop...
chchs military band the best...
I SAY CHUNG HWA U SAY GOOD
CHUNG HWA GOOD
CHUNG HWA GOOD
CHUNG HWA GOOD GOOD GOOD!!!
thanks for beautify part of my life...
thanks for giving me such a nice unforgatable memory!!!
although we form 5 hav leave the band...
but others hav to keep move on...without us...
gambateh chchs military band...let's rock...

27/4/2009
8:10pm...
woohoo...our band hav wont da champion le...
hehex so surprise abt that...we did it...
now our next target is 13Th june...our concert...
maybe laz time i hav did sumthing wrong...
i should support wif them...but i din...
feel lik a bit regret le...so lik da band le...
proud to be part of chung hwa confucian military band...
when we hear da news that we r the champion...
every one has gone crazy...hahahaha
but when she come back...my mood hav down again...
haiz whole day so down...so miss her...
haiz...wat can i do???haiz...but nvm la...it's reli a gratz job to those high pose
thanks~n finally we did it

26/4/2009
4.30pm...
haiz...i'm rejected again...
haiz...so hate da alone d feel...juz lik lost in a desert...no hope...undesirable...

00:00midnight
i hav went to pantai keracut...for midnight trecking...
n overnight at seaside...so that i cn nt to think abt that...cn free my heart...
but too bad...da security block us from going up to the mountain...
so we hav to change da plan...y keep wan me suffer le???
i try to make myself tired...y cnt le???
the god playing me???
i surrender le...i so suffer le...
da feeling reli hard...reli pain...
wat should i do???
i noe i muz let go le...
but i cn ma???i cnt...i wait for her for 8months d...
suffer so much oni get her...but y its wan happen to me???
i dnwn d...i cnt le...

22/4/2009
9.30pm
haiz...y this world is lik tat d???
when they nid help they oni find me...
no nid help d wat is me to them???
still a fren arh???
i think i too "tian chen"d maybe i should not put them at first...
when i not happy i would lik to share wif them...but wat did they did to me???
they nt happy tiok can talk wif me badly...wat how i treat them...how i treat my friends...
i always care about them...care about their feeling...but did they care about my feels???
who care???no ones......rite???
wat is best friend???when nid help oni got best friend???
i duno...to me every friend to me oso my best friend...also important to me...
but i dunoe wat means best friend to them...even friends...
i most hate those person who always lik tat...i hate person who treat me lik tat...
Miss N lik tat...now Miss Y also lik tat....
maybe i too frenly or treat them too nice d...
she said:she wont did to me lik wat Miss N did d...
but now she is doing this...fine...best friend...juz a name ba i think...
they got really put me at first meh???nop...i think...but i did...
i know when they down...i sms wif them... giv them support...
but when i down...wat they did to me...
one keep think of Mr.A...another...emo...no idea...haiz...
wat should i do now le???
BEST FRIEND tis word should keep in my dictionary???or juz forget about it???
who can tell me???who can giv me the answer???
she said she veli tired...she dunwan luan wif me...
but i oso sick arh...i get fever too le...but who knows???
no ones......wat should i do le???

18/4/2009
10.20pm
haiz this few days she keep appear in my mind...
how to forget a ppl???
forget her got so hard ma???
haiz today so unhappy le...so down...
coz i now oni encounter something...
that stuff...haiz...make me get down...down...
i must forget her...i can do it d...
the ppl around me also ask me to forget her d...
still rmb that laz time...we cry together...laugh together...
when she down i talk phone wif her for whole nite...
untill fall as sleep...but now...everything hav change...
i gonna change too...

16/4/2009
haiz...i so miss her le...so suffer now...
thinking of sms her but scare that she feel me "fan"
haiz...wat should i do???
who can tell me wat should i do???
haiz haiz...should i sms her ma??
haiz...so fan le now...

15/4/2009
2.00pm...she sms me asking me y i dun wan perform le...
izit she so "guan xin"me???
i oso dunnoe le...so suffer le...
wat should i do now???
i feel so luan le...
they keep asking me y dunwan perform...
haiz...i oso dunno le...
i juz hope that i nt at this world...
8.00pm...haiz this few days no on9 le...
dunno y this few days keep think of her le...
laz time that feels come back d...
y so hard to forget her le???
insomnia...yesterday 2am oni can sleep le...
although i very tired d...but cant sleep le...
my heart feel so "luan"so many thing keep appear...
haiz...she reli so important to me???
i oso dunnoe le...

12/4/2009
3pm...hhmm i think nw my fren having operation d ba...
which him gud luck la...haha
juz now see tiok her again le...when she is infront of me...
i tiok like ...err...treat lik din see tiok her...bt when she go back d...
my heart veli luan le...dunno y...
juz nw sms her le...bt i still duno she still nid me this fren or nt...
haiz haiz...today so down le...dunno y...haiz haiz

11/4/2009
6.15pm...hhmm...juz came back from visting my frens...
whos mate an accident yesterday...
dunnoe y today i keep think of her le...
think that we together pass eh time...
quite happy d...bt nw its all different d...
haiz...thinking that...my 1st kiss...
haiz haiz haiz...its all over...
bt i dun lik b4 so hurt le...
compared to laz time...i would gonna gone crazy...
but now...hhmm...better liau...hehex...
wish da fren whos in da hospital eh get well soon la...
hhmm...today eh mood...normal normal lik that lo...
dunnoe how to say...

10/4/2009
7.30pm...hhmm...today eh mood
still not bad la...haha
today i hav 2 fren birthday le...
happy birthday to them ba...hahaha
juz nw 8am take da gradute used d photo le...
feel so happy...no y...i think gonna graduate le so happy ba...
having a long hair soon le...hehex
hmm...today nthing special happen la...
bt i saw her msn d pm there written "suan suan de ku ku de"
hhmm...i hav no idea about wat's the prpose she write this la..
maybe becoz of me this fren?or another guy whos in her heart???
no idea...bt its nt important to me le...hahaha...
bt i a bit regret that absent da band practice le...
haiz haiz...
bt...still not bad la... haha

flash back

still rmb that day she ask for break...
i cnt sleep for whole nite...tat day...
i juz sit there for whole nite wif blank minded...
sumtime i had been too tired n fall sleep...
bt when i sleep...my mind keep thinking of her...
dream that she said sorry to me...n wake up...
it's all over...a dream...a real dream...

9/4/2009
6 pm...duno y today so down...
may be becoz of her ba...
during reses time...we meet each other...
n i juz walk away...bt after that...
i feel myself so bad...
i noe i'm a soft-hearted person...
at da moment...mani thing keep appear on my mind...
what should i do now??other than juz waiting...
bt we still can be friend???
she adi dun nid me this friend le i think...
they said me a bit chong dong le...
but that time i oso dunno wat should i do le...



other than those not happy d thing...
sure got something is happy geh...
a best fren finally think open le...^ ^
let go d...hhmm...a good news oso la...haha
so gam dong nia...hahahaha
but...but
wat about myself???
i think open d...bt i still gt feel on her???i oso nt sure...
bt i veli sure that da feel is not so strong le...
so confuse...confuse...but i think i can do it oso d...
i can "fan xia" d...hahaha

7/4/09---
6pm...i adi cant tahan her this kind of attitude d
whats wrong betwen me and her???
why she will suddenly like changed...the way she treat me...
i treat her as my close friend but she treat me what???a friend???
she always treat her friends like that d??nop...i think just me...so,i think she dont treat me as friend
so,i sms her n asking her what happen to her...
why she suddenly treat me so bad...
then i ask her again"do u know this freinship is going worst d?"
but she replied"i duno lo"from her "yu qi"i can know that
she don't need me...this friend adi...
fine...since she is this kind of person...i still remember that
last time when she is down i always support her...
besides her...helping her...but today...
she treat me in such a bad way...but still she rmb that guy whos always beside her??
"yuan lai"this world is like that d...sometimes it can be very cruel...


2weeks after 23/2/09-10.52---the "ok"moment...
she ask for "break"why???i duno...
that day,my sis in hospital le...becoz of food poisonous...
n my mum "guai"me...at the same time she juz want "li kai" me...
when i'm down she tell me this somemore...
how can i accept???n i was begging her...plz dun go...plz
but she juz replied me CNT...izit this world so cruel???n it's nt finish yet...
n the day 2 i have to sit for exam...during the exam...
i totally cant focus at all...
n i get 0 for my add math,7 sejarah,14 BM,17 chemi,23 fizik,28 bio30 bc,50 math,60 BI
huh...i nvr got such a bad result before...
i'm hited...i hav lose all...n oni her bt oso my family...my result...
a few day more...bad thing happened again...
this time...my dad in hospital...
my parents argue...n my mum inside da room for half a day...
what else can i do???haiz...
izit this world so cruel???
n i swear to myself...i wnt lose the 1st thing i can do
i win myself...i swear to myself...i muz let go le...
so...we both be a closed frenz...